a dread spread throughout
for a decision can change life
regret will be the only friend
and the wound will be rife
but isn’t it better if it’s me
who is responsible for his own
mistakes that are made on the way
instead of blaming people unknown
so let me face my failure
for success is elusive but nigh
give up myself for a shortcut
my god you must be high
the temptation and the allure
of all those bright colors
waiting to be consumed
and yet i stand resolutely
shaking
trying to keep those hands in
the very pocket with a wallet
asking to be spent
how long before i give in and
let the sweets make me fat
a laughing stock for everyone
that’s all i am anymore
made a fool again, and then some
disheartened to the core
what was it that i did to you
was it really my folly
or was it a ploy to humiliate me
for my tears made you jolly
are you happy with my misery now
did it bring you joy
or are you another misery yourself
and this happiness, just a ploy
living in a skin not of my own
watching another body, mimicking
a life, that could’ve been mine
if not for the coin toss
to listen to everyone
with no thoughts
to your thoughts
rambling away their lives
just so you can put on
a face of resemblance
semblance to the ideas
that otherwise are thrown
away, not around
to indulge insanity
momentarily and forgetting
to set a clock against
pain and suffering
from incoherence stretched
for eternity and beyond
wishing all the while
to have the strength
to say – shut up
what has become of life
if not a caricature
living the same day, everyday
and still can’t curse nature
for the fault is but my own
and the mistakes, all mine
and yet i pine to blame else
even cursing the powers divine
how do i get out of this maze
my patience has run out
am i being played with
or is it wolf i shout
anticipating the unknown
only for the butterflies
that need to fly now and again
the relief felt facing life
head on, giving it the bird
suddenly all was worth the pain
a shell empty and alone
going through the motions of life
questions swirling inside
heart, preyed upon by a knife
why is it so hard
to squeeze in a word
from time to time
proficiency nullified
when faced with reality
of someone to pine
over, just like that
heartbroken and alone
and fears redefine
what if my lips are shut
suffering alone forever
will you then be mine