Tag Archives: reflection

An Adventure

I keep waiting for adventures. Someday, something great will happen and I’ll have a great post to write.

It’ll be a perfect day for doing stuff. Everything will align with the stars. I’ll grab that perfect exotic bite.

Jumping off the mountains singing with birds. Crossing great oceans swimming with dolphins.

Living like a nomad with no destination. It’ll all be so glorious, even the stale rice and beans.

But all that fun, all those stories, just that. Stories. Waiting instead of making. Busy, not free.

The least I could do is get out for a day. Forget the troubles, embrace the world, or just climb a tree.

Anger

Is anger a friend? Every so often I find myself getting extremely angry about something or the other. It makes me want to say some things, do some things. It feels like an obsession, possessed and singular.

Something someone said is offensive. I can’t tolerate what someone stands for. A myriad of things, really. Is it my ego? It might be my ego. I think it’s my ego!

How can people be so stupid not to see what I can see right in front of me? Oh, I see red. How can people be so smart to see what I can’t see right in front of me? Red, again!

It’s a constant battle, this feeling. I lash out. I say something awful. I overreact. And then I feel like shit. What a brat. Couldn’t remain calm for a minute. Now, everyone is laughing at me for being a jerk. And I feel it too.

After it’s all done I feel a strange calm. The realization that I need to keep the bubbling feeling of rage in check hits me and I feel strangely at peace. In some ways then, anger helps. Shouldn’t it be considered as a friend?

Something Important

What is it that sometimes feel important but just gets away from you right at the last moment? The burden of not knowing that very important thing becomes so huge, it encapsulates the entire mind. Limbs stop functioning, eyes stop blinking and breathing takes a nosedive.

Just give me a second… it will come to me. I know it’s very important. Lives depend on it. If i could just revisit the place where it happened. If I could just start the chain of thought that lead me to the information.

It’s on the tip of my tongue. The song stuck in my head. IT. IS. IMPORTANT. I just need to concentrate. See, I was told to do this specific thing by someone important. Or I told someone to do something important. Maybe I told myself.

Maybe if I exercise a bit. Some yoga, yeah. Nothing like some ancient asanas to get the juices flowing. Apparently it’s  good for concentration. I need to just figure out what I am doing here. My mind feels so foggy, I am unable to process anything.

Internet! I should try some new products recommended for me by this fine algorithm. Why yes I would love to buy ‘The girl with the dragon tattoo’ with ‘Fight Club’. Thanks Mr. Rithm.

Wait, what was I talking about? Was it important?

Filling Pages

Dear dia…

Hahaha. Do people really start off like that? Seems a little weird. It’s fascinating how an inanimate object can be so full of life. The deepest desires of heart, the darkest secrets, the goriest thoughts, the coldest confessions, all inked on blank bland pages. But somehow, that’s what makes this otherwise unimportant object the most valuable.

It is an allegory to life itself. We are, at best, vessels. Empty. Noisy, without purpose. But as life happens, these vessels become a treasure chest to all the good and all the bad. The vessel starts to fill up. Becoming less noisy. It gets a purpose. the proceedings of life that happened all those years ago stand erect right in front of your eyes. Living and breathing.

And when that vessel finds another inanimate object, all it wants to do is empty up those heavy burdens. Free itself of the sadness. Just so that it can start filling again. And maybe in the process, start feeling again. A life, making a life living a life, and that life living through a thousand of them, just to live another.