A drop in the ocean

I feel alone. In this vast ocean of people, all I wanted was to be able to stand on my own. To be someone. Someone who mattered. But right now, it seems I am granted my wish in the cruelest way possible. I am that one drop of water in the ocean who is somehow flowing, not by its own will, but because every drop around it wants to flow. They choose the direction, they choose the speed. They choose the destination. I feel I am supposed to just listen. Helpless, while other droplets, seemingly happy with their choice, going with the flow. I don’t know if I brought this upon myself or is this exactly what they call destiny. I don’t know if I even believe in something as random as destiny. I feel so lost I can’t help but wonder how things would’ve gone differently had everything went exactly as planned by that droplet a decade ago. To wake up and look in the mirror everyday, wondering if this day would be any different. To look into the eyes of everyone else, knowing what exactly they are thinking of you. I have no idea how long will I be able to keep up with this charade. Will I break soon? Or will I be able to handle this? I feel I am so far down the tunnel that I can’t go back. And yet not close enough to the end to see the light at the end of it. All I wanted was to stand out. To get an opportunity, to get a chance that I truly believe I deserve. And yet I here I stand alone. With my wish granted in the cruelest way possible.