
the more i learn
the more empty i feel
learning but
the depth of the vessel
empty
never sated

the more i learn
the more empty i feel
learning but
the depth of the vessel
empty
never sated
your essence gone
all that’s left behind
lingering aroma

staring at that blank page
for hours on end
trying really hard to find
worthy use for the parchment
where have all the words gone
why has the ink dried
used to fill both sides easy
it’s hard now to finish a side
maybe it’s this feeling i have
all the pain seems torched
how do i write when i’m happy
who am i if i’m not scorched

I feel alone. In this vast ocean of people, all I wanted was to be able to stand on my own. To be someone. Someone who mattered. But right now, it seems I am granted my wish in the cruelest way possible. I am that one drop of water in the ocean who is somehow flowing, not by its own will, but because every drop around it wants to flow. They choose the direction, they choose the speed. They choose the destination. I feel I am supposed to just listen. Helpless, while other droplets, seemingly happy with their choice, going with the flow. I don’t know if I brought this upon myself or is this exactly what they call destiny. I don’t know if I even believe in something as random as destiny. I feel so lost I can’t help but wonder how things would’ve gone differently had everything went exactly as planned by that droplet a decade ago. To wake up and look in the mirror everyday, wondering if this day would be any different. To look into the eyes of everyone else, knowing what exactly they are thinking of you. I have no idea how long will I be able to keep up with this charade. Will I break soon? Or will I be able to handle this? I feel I am so far down the tunnel that I can’t go back. And yet not close enough to the end to see the light at the end of it. All I wanted was to stand out. To get an opportunity, to get a chance that I truly believe I deserve. And yet I here I stand alone. With my wish granted in the cruelest way possible.

a little hair out of place
a little longer in the bed
a little decibel higher
and i am judged
there’s a finality in that guess
no heed given to what i said
trying to balance a high wire
still i am judged
that plastered smile on your face
is that purple skirt with red
like a hooker on hire
yes, you are judged
everyone judges everyone else
but judge themselves, they see red
and yet goes on, this quagmire
we are all fucked

why is it that what i say
and what you hear
is always out of sync
my truths are your lies
your darkness for my light
wouldn’t it make you think
and yet i stand here
resolute and alone
taking the road high
and there you are
always with a reason
to say goodbye

withdrawn from the world
alone for a long quest
inhibited and furled
thriving on my own zest
inundated as solitude hurled
never felt such unrest
geared for a life whirled
fear thumping neath chest
optimistic yet curled
rational, yet with unrest
yearning for love swirled
one day it will attest
until then, my world…

betrayed by my own kith
over faces unknown
and years of love and trust
puff… gone
my existence to you a ghost
or a plane parallel
treatment to me so silent
shivered universe all
the darkness in you i see
i am not a match
walking around you on eggshells
can’t let those chicken hatch

up and down
left and right
decisions coming back
to bite
a false truth
a well made lie
out in the open
why, god? why?
opinions extreme
for all the debacle
even death can’t hide
thus born a radical