a journey new and exciting
embarked upon by a fool
soaking in the pains
reveling the pleasures
the road found him
eager for the destination
and slowed it down
for introspection is imperative
thriving on the arduous walk
the fool became the learned
realized destiny and destination
are constructs of imagination
for the journey is what matters
to learn what’s important
life is memories, disjoint
no start, no endpoint
It’s always difficult to adjust to new surroundings. New people, new places, make it difficult to make sense of the most common things
Meeting new people gets intimidating, especially when the people are accomplished in their areas of expertise and know what the hell they are talking about. You look like a newbie trying to make sense of the world. Trying to get up on your feet. The world seems a whole lot different even when you know it’s not. My recent change and feelings could be attributed to exactly these things. Somehow, my brain seems to be churning out a whole lot of scenarios in a very small amount of time. Doubts, swirling my head. Hope, running through my heart. Fear, gripping my veins. It’s anxious and existing out there.
So, here I am. Facing my fears. Amongst peers. Looking for a better life. Cheers.
Change is common. So is the feeling everytime something changes dramatically. Some people revel in it. Others, not so much. Cautiously approaching the unknown, taking there own time to deal with the questions life has to offer at every turn. I might be in the latter group, trying desperately to get to a point where change won’t bother me. I’ve failed miserably so far. As much as I want to be completely fine with it, I seem to get a bit worried. Maybe it’s natural. Maybe it isn’t. Either way, it happens and I’ve to deal with it with a thumping heart. Every single time. I hope the changes that are about to happen are the kind that propels me into a position I want to be in. I know things will be tough, and there’ll be occasions when I’ll feel flummoxed. But I do hope I’ll have the strength to face them. I hope I’ll get to a position where I can revel these changes. I hope my thumping heart will be able to control itself. I hope these changes make my life better. I hope these changes improve my take on life. I hope.
Everything’s changing. Another chapter ends, only to turn a page into a new one. Sometimes I hate changes, sometimes I love them. But almost all times they feel scary. This is just one such instance. I am feeling anxious and nervous. Maybe some of it is the good kind of nervous. But most of it is a bit discombobulating. I don’t know what’s waiting for me in a new city. But I’m hopeful. Here I go…
It’s getting very difficult to focus. I find myself lost in thoughts I don’t want to have. Always in the back of my head. Thoughts that I am not ready to share. I know, it’s anticlimactic. But that’s just the way it is.
Sometimes, you get such a practical joke played on you that it puts everything you know, in a completely different perspective. I don’t know what life is. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be. I find myself in constant search for answers that I probably might never find. That doesn’t stop me. But sometimes it makes me question my motivations to find the answers. What am I going to get out of it? Is life so fickle that we will just be gone forever, never to be remembered?
Shaking off a tragedy is tough. Tougher yet, is to put on a brave face so that others affected don’t lose there morale. So, all I do is push those thoughts back and smile…
for years we kept our distance
for we couldn’t see eye to eye
forgetting the bond we shared
forgetting to say goodbye
that was all the hope needed
that there’ll be another chance
that’ll never happen now
that’ll never be my stance
for i have given up on you
for you have given up on hope
forever to be a lone now
forever eying that hanging rope
imprisoned with my own freedom…
while the shackled world moves on!
disappointed with the way
i am treated simply because
you are the one hiding secrets
from me
why am i the one who suffers
the rage and swings and not
the one who is responsible
for this
am i to just give up my voice
and give in to all your whims
or should i stand my ground
and say ‘fuck off’
the rampant betrayal of self
is it really worth it
or do you think i’ll take you back
lack of esteem
you should’ve just conveyed
what was in your heart
instead you chose to string mine
till it broke in millions
now i rage not for the hurt
but for the future we could’ve had
if it weren’t for your delusions
thinking it was just a game
