the rampant betrayal of self
is it really worth it
or do you think i’ll take you back
lack of esteem
you should’ve just conveyed
what was in your heart
instead you chose to string mine
till it broke in millions
now i rage not for the hurt
but for the future we could’ve had
if it weren’t for your delusions
thinking it was just a game
a thought unprovoked buried deep within the crevices of mind
unshakeable, stuck for time eternal
and numb limbs fighting to figure out a cure
for the tingles keep getting worse
something i did and now i’m left wondering
what could have been if it wasn’t for that one mistake
a pounding heart is all i’m left with
and a fear it’ll soon break
anxious of an outcome walking the road never taken
echoes of caution, dead end ahead, turn left
shaking legs trying too hard. scared inside, am i dead
a thought unprovoked buried deep within the crevices of mind
unshakeable, stuck for time eternal
nah… i’ve endured enough for you
no more shall i come to your rescue
a toy to play with and then
shove it under the bed
discarded. disposed off
away from any living gaze
while you roam around with
someone else
catering to every whims of
this creature
and i endure…
pain… regret… loss.
only for you to come back with
tears to soak my shirt
and me to just be happy while
i cry… i shout… i tremble…
to blind eyes and deaf ears
no more
this, here is when
i let you go
this, here, is when
i take a stand
this, here, is when
i become free!
why are there so many sleepless nights
is the thought of you keeping me awake
the way you moved, the way you smiled
nah! i’m over you, i just slept all morning
not today, my love
not when the skies bleed
not when the lands parch
not when the clocks stop
don’t break my heart
a moment of your time
for stories untold
a slice of your life
for secrets you sold
betrayal, loss, mistrust
i still can’t say no
afraid to lose you forever
why can’t i let you go
a day goes by
hours, spent
but without you
eternity, it meant
the easiest days to forget are the days when you were the happiest
the toughest days to forget are the days when you were sad
a secret in those eyes
hidden away, locked
the betrayal and the lies
i feel i’m being mocked
a feeling uneasy, every time
i look at you now
and you say everything’s fine
yet you broke the vow
would you gain back the trust
so unceremoniously broken
or give in again to lust
and be just a token
a secret never for another ear
but only for those eyes
staring through the crumpled mirror
and with it, it shall die
