Category Archives: Self

forgot to post

i cannot believe this happened today. i have tried to stick to a timetable from day 1. and yet i forgot to post today (yesterday). not lazy. not busy. just forgot. i feel strangely guilty. am i giving myself a hard time? i knew it will get more difficult with change in schedule. but the guilt is strangely stronger than reason. i might have to post again today just to keep with the promise i made myself. to be fair, i am only a couple hours late. so, even though it counts, i am not letting this sway my motivation. i have to keep going. i need this. i need to make sure i do this right.

will it get better?

yesterday i was sleeping on a big bed, legs in leisure, paramount comfort. today, i can touch the opposite wall with absolutely no strain. i cannot stretch my legs. i can’t find any way to get comfortable.

to come to a new city and realize how people take advantage of people in need is not something i like. but, i can’t be too surprised. last time i was here, it had the same problems. the room was bigger though. more… roomier. this one cant be called a room. it’s a travesty that shouldn’t exist. i tried to adjust to it but it is fucking hard. placing a laptop on the bed that’s barely two feet wide and to try and rest… with my two bags that can’t fit anywhere, because there isn’t any place.

i am disappointed because this was supposed to help me study, get in the zone. how can i do that if the first problem that i need to solve is to be able to sit down quietly? i can hear others through the walls… people not more than five feet away from me. less than five hours and i am fed up. tired. and lost. i can’t get out for a month and this… this prison is all i got. such a different perspective, this. sad and lonely and miserable and in pain.

a call out of the blue

i miss my friends
scattered around every which way
i miss my friends

a song overheard
we used to sing together, out of tune
lyrically lazy

cheapest soda
only to get more and more, wasting time
how precious

riding a moped
sitting four with olympian skills
on a flat tyre

not lazy, now crazy busy
gulping pricey liquids alone
four seater, sits one