i have demons in me
demons of my utter failure
gnawing away my life
crippling me from inside
my insidious fears
overwhelming my heart
beats running thunderous
for an unexpected stop
yet i’m to hold off
losing my composure
to maintain my dignity
and overcome failure
how am i to do this
when demons in me reside
gnawing away my life
crippling me from inside
in the middle of the city
away from serenity
there’s a place noisy and loud
underneath polluted cloud
i like it here, it’s nice
the bustle, the noise
makes me part of humanity
maintaining my sanity
but what’s that i see morphing
connected humans, quietly working
never seeing eye to eye
never a hello, never a bye
the blaring roars are gone now
don’t know why, don’t know how
all i hear is silence, shitty
right in the middle of the city
a life in balance, hung
and stares stuck to screen
unforgiving heart skipping beats
just waiting for a ring
but the light never turned
even with signals high
clinging hope slipping away
and sad reality, nigh
what i thought a serious business
for you was just a game
you broke my soul, crushed my dreams
i curse you all the same
dread flowing through veins
aware of the crippling fears
of the brain
scenarios out of control
concocted in the mind
with self disdain
need to be one with everything
to get a hold of sanity
back again
the stench of failure
hard earned without trying
at least the sweat is mine
awaiting scent of success
bated breath, open nostrils
i know it’ll be divine
yearning for but a respite
entitled to every human once
lonely life without beloved
learning to let go despite
onlookers busy hiding smiles
with fake gloom on faces shoved
a long quest to obtain
the cursed youth fountain
for the ability to sustain
the morals and to maintain
chains around who contain
no strength to abstain
vices taller than mountain
ergo my choices will pertain
to destroy and to detain
for sanity itself to attain
raised arms searching desperately
for hope and a small degree
of happiness in this world
alas! the light botched my selfie
my promises to myself are empty
breaking them for ease, with ease
who will know what i did wrong
if no one knows what’s right, please
all i wanted were a few changes but
life doesn’t back down without fight
maybe things would be easy if someone
would come in and rid me of this oversight
