a laughing stock for everyone
that’s all i am anymore
made a fool again, and then some
disheartened to the core
what was it that i did to you
was it really my folly
or was it a ploy to humiliate me
for my tears made you jolly
are you happy with my misery now
did it bring you joy
or are you another misery yourself
and this happiness, just a ploy
living in a skin not of my own
watching another body, mimicking
a life, that could’ve been mine
if not for the coin toss
to listen to everyone
with no thoughts
to your thoughts
rambling away their lives
just so you can put on
a face of resemblance
semblance to the ideas
that otherwise are thrown
away, not around
to indulge insanity
momentarily and forgetting
to set a clock against
pain and suffering
from incoherence stretched
for eternity and beyond
wishing all the while
to have the strength
to say – shut up
what has become of life
if not a caricature
living the same day, everyday
and still can’t curse nature
for the fault is but my own
and the mistakes, all mine
and yet i pine to blame else
even cursing the powers divine
how do i get out of this maze
my patience has run out
am i being played with
or is it wolf i shout
anticipating the unknown
only for the butterflies
that need to fly now and again
the relief felt facing life
head on, giving it the bird
suddenly all was worth the pain
a shell empty and alone
going through the motions of life
questions swirling inside
heart, preyed upon by a knife
why is it so hard
to squeeze in a word
from time to time
proficiency nullified
when faced with reality
of someone to pine
over, just like that
heartbroken and alone
and fears redefine
what if my lips are shut
suffering alone forever
will you then be mine
the more i learn
the more empty i feel
learning but
the depth of the vessel
empty
never sated
it’s been too long to count
the days of my love for you
immovable through stormy life
yet unrequited throughout
my use to you was to be used
for your whims were my commands
only to be discarded after
like stale news of old yester
at least you could’ve hated me
i would’ve cherished the vehemence
all i could see was indifference
unworthy to elicit an emotion
