why is it so hard
to squeeze in a word
from time to time
proficiency nullified
when faced with reality
of someone to pine
over, just like that
heartbroken and alone
and fears redefine
what if my lips are shut
suffering alone forever
will you then be mine
it’s been too long to count
the days of my love for you
immovable through stormy life
yet unrequited throughout
my use to you was to be used
for your whims were my commands
only to be discarded after
like stale news of old yester
at least you could’ve hated me
i would’ve cherished the vehemence
all i could see was indifference
unworthy to elicit an emotion
why is it that what i say
and what you hear
is always out of sync
my truths are your lies
your darkness for my light
wouldn’t it make you think
and yet i stand here
resolute and alone
taking the road high
and there you are
always with a reason
to say goodbye
withdrawn from the world
alone for a long quest
inhibited and furled
thriving on my own zest
inundated as solitude hurled
never felt such unrest
geared for a life whirled
fear thumping neath chest
optimistic yet curled
rational, yet with unrest
yearning for love swirled
one day it will attest
until then, my world…
anyway you look at it
love is complicated
you fall for it everytime
still end up getting hated
one of those days when i’m livid
not because i’m angry, but sad
to see that i can’t heal you
or to feel the pain you hide
poorly
is confiding a forgone thought
what is it? something i did?
or something i should’ve
what made you feel it’s better
alone
i’m helpless and all i want
is to help you feel like self
you might not realize, my love
but when you push me away, i
die
nah… i’ve endured enough for you
no more shall i come to your rescue
a toy to play with and then
shove it under the bed
discarded. disposed off
away from any living gaze
while you roam around with
someone else
catering to every whims of
this creature
and i endure…
pain… regret… loss.
only for you to come back with
tears to soak my shirt
and me to just be happy while
i cry… i shout… i tremble…
to blind eyes and deaf ears
no more
this, here is when
i let you go
this, here, is when
i take a stand
this, here, is when
i become free!
why are there so many sleepless nights
is the thought of you keeping me awake
the way you moved, the way you smiled
nah! i’m over you, i just slept all morning
not today, my love
not when the skies bleed
not when the lands parch
not when the clocks stop
don’t break my heart
