no more

nah… i’ve endured enough for you
no more shall i come to your rescue
a toy to play with and then
shove it under the bed
discarded. disposed off
away from any living gaze

while you roam around with
someone else
catering to every whims of
this creature
and i endure…
pain… regret… loss.

only for you to come back with
tears to soak my shirt
and me to just be happy while
i cry… i shout… i tremble…
to blind eyes and deaf ears
no more

this, here is when
i let you go
this, here, is when
i take a stand
this, here, is when
i become free!

addicted

thrill of a secret, behind closed door
hushed voices, scared to the core
a drag, this life, a drag to forget
needle underneath, and now it’s too late

buried with burden, i’m free no more
ripped hearts i see, i see promises i tore
undone by lows, high only to hate
quest a happy life, alas! sealed fate

betrayal

is it fair to stab in the back
a person you held dear
the ruthlessness of the society
made you do that you fear
might someday happen to you

advantage over relations
pragmatic over emotions
at what cost, though
promises on occasions
are now buried declarations

what’s left behind
is a broken heart
and a soul unhealing
even sobs have choked
themselves to sleep

will it get better?

yesterday i was sleeping on a big bed, legs in leisure, paramount comfort. today, i can touch the opposite wall with absolutely no strain. i cannot stretch my legs. i can’t find any way to get comfortable.

to come to a new city and realize how people take advantage of people in need is not something i like. but, i can’t be too surprised. last time i was here, it had the same problems. the room was bigger though. more… roomier. this one cant be called a room. it’s a travesty that shouldn’t exist. i tried to adjust to it but it is fucking hard. placing a laptop on the bed that’s barely two feet wide and to try and rest… with my two bags that can’t fit anywhere, because there isn’t any place.

i am disappointed because this was supposed to help me study, get in the zone. how can i do that if the first problem that i need to solve is to be able to sit down quietly? i can hear others through the walls… people not more than five feet away from me. less than five hours and i am fed up. tired. and lost. i can’t get out for a month and this… this prison is all i got. such a different perspective, this. sad and lonely and miserable and in pain.