gentle nudge to bring me back
from the serene dream i had
your warm touch embraced
unlike that bright ball of fire
trying to shine brighter than you
how embarrassing for him
losing to but a dream of mine
a tragedy he shall face
for you are much more divine
when i open my eyes you
will be there smiling at me
unlike the eternity i woke up
to a weightless pillow
everyday the same search
deep within
today’s great though
i have something new
better than yesterday
backspace is assaulted
cracks visible
yet i go through
i have something new
better than yesterday
this time it’ll work
i have a feeling
this one is readable
i have something new
better than yesterday
it’s been so long
the pen has dried off
this is worth it
i have something new
better than yesterday
i had so much to say
all lost in time
was that worth it
waiting for something new
better than yesterday
waiting for perfection
i stopped being good
all i can show
edits of blank drafts
just like yesterday
striving to better
oft we mar what’s well
said shakespeare once
so here’s my imperfect poem
just like yesterday
i am fear
narcissistic and proud
for you forget all the joy
and happiness turns
like a mold hanging
over your head
you are afraid
stunned and paralysed
for you meet the darkness
lurking behind brave facade
like an old friend
you sent away
we are together
my villain and your hero
for it is written by the stars
and i’ll crush your hopes, dreams
like only i can
until you give up
is it enough to be myself
or do i slap a mask on
prominent smile is bound to
bring in friendly strangers
but won’t i lose myself
in the plethora of fakes
giving away the freedoms
no matter what it takes
will i get an ear
to my pleads, my stories
or will it be a blind eye
to all my fears, my worries
violent thoughts occupy me
betrayed by my own
we shared a life together
every night, every morn
and you left me hanging
staring into the abyss
the dreams we had together
witnessing that kiss
you made all my troubles vanish
gave me a world of opportunities
i can’t find a trace of yours now
no matter how much i pray the deities
i wish you’d come back now
for it is my only will
without you o my internet
how am i to netflix and chill
one day i’ll be up so high
first to see the sun up in sky
over valleys, indian ocean
will see the earth in motion
one day i’ll be in so deep
on the edge of earth, taking a leap
a school of fish alongside
showing me the way as my guide
one day i’ll walk on land
no prejudice, just hand in hand
no race, religion, discrimination
and another bucket list after the occasion
trapped in a limbo drab and dingy
muffled sounds and dark lights
the violent ghosts are screaming
my incapable throat resisting voice
freedom curbed and insanity prevails
been a long winter, this
taken out for a moment
blue sky, cool breeze, sunrise
i get my angel back
i notice when everyone ignores me
i notice when opportunity doors me
i notice when greed whores me
i notice the lies the world lores me
i’m still resolute to be mentored
i’m still knocking to be entered
i’m still trying to be gentled
i’m still searching to be centered
the cracked mirror on the wall
staring back into the soul
watching life go by
can’t stand it
can’t stand the failures playing
in front of my eyes
can’t bear to rewind my being
and witness the lies
lies i told myself
to avoid facing my own gaze
uncover the bookshelf
of betrayal and not faze
i’m tired of it
watching life play by
hoping my mind would quit
asking why me, why?
