how do you begin something new
from the ashes of hope and love
the embers of sadness staring
glimpses of hurt ripe, piercing
another year of dread passed
fearful surprises lay ahead
just flicker of hope through doubt
or strength to put misery to bed
a constant struggle
to keep at bay, the thoughts
of your existence
stubborn, they are
for they keep flooding back
to drown me in tears
a cold stare into the past
and tears run down the cheeks
was i the one responsible
or is this what they call nostalgia
sometimes my dreams
and reality
are so blended well
all i want
is to sleep within fantasy
and awoken from actuality
retreat into your corner
for the path is trouble
leading you astray
or push through, accelerating
into the treacherous unknown
and find yourself
hard to forget
a time without you
hard to forgive
the decisions
taken without thought
and what they’ll mean
to me
all i’m left
is sorrow and grief
and unanswered questions
a heavy heart
and an empty feeling
that’s all there is
to life, at times
one of those days when i’m livid
not because i’m angry, but sad
to see that i can’t heal you
or to feel the pain you hide
poorly
is confiding a forgone thought
what is it? something i did?
or something i should’ve
what made you feel it’s better
alone
i’m helpless and all i want
is to help you feel like self
you might not realize, my love
but when you push me away, i
die
for years we kept our distance
for we couldn’t see eye to eye
forgetting the bond we shared
forgetting to say goodbye
that was all the hope needed
that there’ll be another chance
that’ll never happen now
that’ll never be my stance
for i have given up on you
for you have given up on hope
forever to be a lone now
forever eying that hanging rope
